Domestic Pirates

The exploding fireworks BURSTING in distance have inspired me to address the many rumors and speculations abound regarding what devastation this weekend may or may not have in store. It’s time to add to the speculations and put a few rumors to rest.

First things first.. NO - there will not be no special guest appearance by the Space Channel 5 chick…


I know some of you out there were only coming to our 5th of July shin-dig to see her do… whatever it is she does best live and in person. Sorry you have are DENIED.

Now, most of you have not heard, but there will be a TINY live performance by the Bodagendogg Brothers, featuring All Wheel Elevator and Fish Oven - They are practicing as we speak…

It will not be held in the studio - hopefully weather permitting all activities will be taking place out of doors.

Now, the rumors of Bodagencamp are TRUE… There will be tents for outdoor accommodations and maybe some NES old school gaming. However, I do not anticipate the back yard to look anything like this…

OH - and if you show up in tie die, I will make you walk the plank.

In addition to Bodagnecamp and the TINY performance, we will honor the birthday of one Pedro Leaftroff Bodgaendogg who also goes by the names: Stinky, Patrone, First Mate Stinky Patrone, or Mr. PP.

LOOK HOW WITTLE HE WAS… sniff - such a cutsey wootsy wittle stinky…
OK - enough of that!!!!
Heh - too bad he won’t be enjoying the ice cream cake in his honor!

Now - to add to a bit of speculations buzzing about. Savers has provided the Capt’n and Wench with an inspiration! See below:

NOTE: this would be the Wench’s handy work - which is why she is not the “artist”

This mockery diagram above WILL be a drinking game, of which the details are still to be determined.

Stay tuned for pictures from the Wench’s EPIC super long weekend adventure in relaxing, drinking, fireworks and riding the zipper until she pukes!

P.S. - if finding a lightening bug in your house is any kind of good omen, then we are in for a great weekend!

oh how mother nature has spited me!

Yesterday afternoon a large storm ripped, or more like shredded, through our area. While I was admiring the black doom clouds slowly drifting in the general direction of my house, my plants cowered in fear of what was to come.

The most devastated were my Nastrurium and Tomato Plants. Would you like to see the beauty my tomatoes beheld?

Well here they are now after being ravaged and raped by the suspected marble sized hail.

Why would I suspect marble sized hail?
Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

note the second to last pane at the bottom.

Unlike my tomatoes, I have full faith that my Nastruriums will bounce back.

My Coleus however, may never be permanantly disfigured this summer:

and for reference, here he was before being beaten ugly

Do you think I could return my plants to Home Depot and trade them in for fresh beauties? I doubt their return policy includes nature pissing all over you.

Bottom line - I shake a mighty fist at you mother nature dearest - you are a WHORE!!!!!!

This past weekend was one of ultra awesomeness. It was relaxing, leisurely AND fun - what a winning combination.

There is nothing better than waking up on Saturday morning and then taking a nap!

Then, when you wake up from your nap - it’s time to check out the local farmer’s market!
Which I might add - the Wench is becoming a huge fan of - despite the higher prices than at the market.

From there it was onward to a family grad party. Where it was margaritas, beers, killa food and lots of laughs. Tiffany was fed an extra large glass of margarita.

We had train robbers hiding under our tables

I enjoyed some refreshing beverages is with my Memere

The Wench enjoyed some summertime swingin’ fun

The Wench and her Dad do their best big bear impressions

The Wench’s mother is bewildered by the oddity that is her daughter and son in law.

SIDE NOTE: little known fact to you readers - the pirate theme that Scott and I have embraced could be of inspiration from my Daddy. Note his squinty eye in the picture above - that eye had gotten a spike in many many moons ago and as a result he wore an eye patch - like a pirate - for quite an extended period of time. Hehe - patches are POSSUM!!!!

My father listens intently as Tiffany and I discuss the hot waitress with her magical button popping blouse

Finally - it was time to depart the raucous grad celebration. We packed ourselves up and invited the great Hoofadoo and his child bride over for our first Empty Wallets Club meeting! But first - we had to make a small free roadside detour to pick up our lovely new chair!

Tresa and Michael came over ready for a night of rousing fun!

We started our night with trip to Savers however - we somehow managed to fit 6 people in the Scion. Needless to say the Great Hoofadoo received the honor of shotgun.

The Wench did have a pretty decent find at Savers, she got herself a technicolor poncho!

After Savers, it was time for some Hungry Hungry Hippos which thoroughly entertained us for quite some time. Tresa got the honor of eating the most balls!

We finished off our night with some candyland and hit the hay.

Sunday - we started the… BODAGENBREW

We also bought a new studio rug

And finally - the ship is officially ready to set sail with the finding and raising of our flag!

Ahh - if it’s not spending a bit here and there on Booze and plants and tasty treats - it’s blowing your load on a sick puppy! I’ll spare the gory explosive cage sharting details of Saturday morning and just jump to the visit to the vet. Pedro was issued a bland diet of hamburg and rice along with an antibiotic to be taken twice a day - which is a feat in and of itself. Tell me, how you get pills into a smooshface like this?

You don’t.

Instead you give pills in dried apricots, which consequentially enough - may cause diarrhea. So with Pedro all medicated and not pooping, let’s jump to Monday. Upon leaving in the morning we fully expected explosive remnants all over the kitchen since Mr. Stinky Patrone did not, in fact, partake in his morning poo. INSTEAD - we come home to a gimpy pug. We immediately call the vet because silly us, we assumed it had something to do with his weak bowels.

It turned out to be something with his knee, for which we had to schedule x-rays on Tuesday. We came home from the vet with 2 more pills for him to take, a pain reliever and a joint vitamin. Awesome - now we need bigger apricots. We spent Monday night worried at all the possibilities and Pedro just wasn’t himself. No curly tail - no happy face - just sad and pathetic.

…and peaceful for once!

Tuesday morning he still had no improvement so we whisked him off to the vet for a day of anesthesia, x-rays and recovery. Needless to say all parties were concerned.

The good news, it’s just a sprain and we walked away from the vet with yet another pill for him to take, this time a muscle relaxer and we spent enough to get at least 3 iPhone 3g’s! Wednesday morning, you would have never guessed that Mr. Pedro was a poor limp little puggy. I almost wonder if he bamboozled us into spending that money and giving him all that extra attention!

With all that drama aside - the Wench set about working on her vegie and herb garden, and by vegie I really just mean my zillion tomato plants. I separated out all my herbs from the garden and potted them on the deck.

..and then I decorated my rosemary

Then I checked in on my hanging baskets which are filling out nicely.

I also checked in on my newly potted plants

Aren’t those little multi-colored ball-pod-bud things knifty?

I even picked a flower out of my garden to prettimucate the studio!

Yea, I know - all the gardenista fun is not exactly as riveting as our weekend shannagains but hey, the Wench enjoys it so… nyah.

This:

Actually this is Pedro’s “bland diet” of boiled hamburg and rice - YUMMM…

This past week - The Wench had an Ice Cream Play Date with Sara and First Mate Stinky Patrone!

Pedro certinaly does love him some bitches

Do to the hot hot heat - poor Sara had a hard time keeping it up.

But not to worry - pedro was waiting with baited breath!

Also on the agenda this past week - Workin’ on the beautification of the compound all gardenista style.
BEFORE:

AFTER:

Oh and you see this little bastard:

He’s the one who eats all my plants - he BEST be watchin’ his back!!!

Saturday was spent cleaning up after Mr. Pedro and his sick bum along with some minor yard tidying up. The Wench also tried to beautify the shed area with some shady like plants:

After a trip to the vet it was time to for lesson on Rumford Center:

Did you also know that according to The Capt’n they run the bakery down the street?
WHO KNEW!

After our lesson we visited Julians in Providence for some delicious eats and brews

and then we rode the mechanical horses ultra sophisticated style:
Sophistaerin:

Sophistawench:

We also enjoyed some battery acid they tried to pass off as a shiraz champagne:

sometimes you shouldn’t always shop by the label.

Sunday was a day of rest and a day to rock my new MG Tee

That was the week as it was. Hopefully this week is equally enjoyable!